Best Secrets for Ignoring Facts and Not Even Caring

How I deal with my fantasies concerning my friend the irrational conspiracy theorist

In my life, I tend to draw many people to me who for a lack of a better term “live in an intellectual and psychological wasteland”.  

They have a worldview that seems distorted, so distorted that it borders on crazy.  Put plainly, they need a reality test, a Freudian idea where a person, under the guidance of a therapist helps them draw the line between outer objective and inner subjective.

I have this friend named Norman (Not his actual name), who is one of these people.  Maybe calling him an old acquaintance is a bit more accurate, who has become a daily part of my e-mail life.

I knew him forty-plus years ago when we worked on a business project together, a trade show to be held over two weekends at Madison Square Garden. I saw Norman daily and we worked closely together. He was a talented, bright guy with a voice so distinct that many of us had fun imitating him on the phone. The best I can describe of his vocal tone and intonations is a cross between Tom Waits, Joe Cocker, Bonnie Tyler. Kim Carnes and Rod Stewart.

Ultimately the business project failed, through no fault of our own, but because of two major snowstorms that passed through NYC on each of the two weekends. These storms crippled the city, destroyed the trade show, closed most public transportation, and had me sleeping on a mat at center court in the garden. How many people can claim to have spent a night sleeping on center court in the garden? Certainly, not Willis Reed or Wayne Gretzky.

I spoke with Norman every decade or so, usually to knock around a few ideas he had for doing business together. He was usually the one to call, but I liked him and liked hearing from him.

We’d talk a while socially before getting down to business. I was happily suprized to learn that he had ultimately married an associate of ours, with who he had been sleeping back in the 70s. We had all moved on, yet they had reconnected years later, rekindled their friendship, and had become a couple. I remembered her, Suzanne, as being a deep thinker, and someone capable of putting up with Norman’s idiosyncrasies and eccentricities which were varied and abundant.

About two years again I got a phone call from Norman. He said that he had gotten a strong intuition that he needed to reconnect with me and explore various business projects we could do together. I always liked Norm and was glad he had reached out.

We spoke over the weeks and in the course of our conversations, he began to ask my opinion on various subjects that can only be described as conspiracy theories. Among the things, he asked me were about…

• The Deep State,

• Whether the moon-landing ever happened, or was a hoax

• That black people are genetically intellectually inferior to other ethnic groups.

• That Asians are smarter

• Whether historians had actually lied about the number of Jews killed in the Holocaust,

·         …and the idea that 60 families run the entire world.

Many of his ideas are connected to the alt-right, and many in the alt-right express a strong anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim, and white supremacist streak in their thinking.  I found this especially strange since Norman is a descendant of German Jews.

Soon Norman went from asking me questions about what I thought of these ideas to actually promoting them. In time, it became clear that he had little respect for facts, critical thinking, or deductive reasoning. He took pride in reading headlines from alt-rite newsletters, and slick but vacuous Youtube videos about every conspiracy theory imaginable.

He believed virtually all mainstream media was run by liberal hacks and took anything Alex Jones or Donald Trump said as gospel. If presented with facts that undercut his ideas he would deny them, ignore them, say I had been brainwashed, or that I didn’t know what I was talking about. At times he might call me stupid, or say I had taken the blue pill. The terms "red pill" and "blue pill" refer to a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in contented ignorance with the blue pill. The terms refer to a scene in the 1999 film The Matrix and have become a common statement of conspiracy theorists.

Norm and I e-mail each other almost every day. We have become friends of sorts over the two years. He is a sweet guy with a big heart, and I’m not going to throw him overboard because 90% of what he believes makes no sense whatsoever. He still believes the Capital Insurrection of January 6, 2021, was just some benign tourists trespassing…seriously.

One of the things Norman often does is make ridiculous statements using words like “globalists”. As in “the globalists are taking over.” When I ask him how he defines the word “globalists” he’ll respond that I have been brainwashed and that I need to look it up.

His ability to brush aside all logic for some irrational idea from Alex Jones or Sidney Powell is mind-boggling

The Takeaway

I know Norman is reading this newsletter, and I don’t mean to ridicule him, still there is a small fantasy I have. That one day I will be invited to a multicultural cocktail party of scholars and generally deep thinkers. It will be a party filled with black, white, and Asian people. Gay and straight, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, agnostics, and atheists.

Sometime during the evening, I will ask Norman to get on a small stage and ask everyone to pay attention to him as he begins pontificating upon all the things he believes about; The Deep State; the moon-landing; how black people are genetically intellectually inferior to other ethnic groups; about the number of Jews killed in the Holocaust; about the idea that 60 families run the entire world, and all the other beliefs he had developed by reading alt-right headlines and cherry-picking fake facts while skimming articles that make no sense.

And as Norman gives this speech, I want to observe the faces of deep thinkers, and scholars at this party as they realize that there are millions of good, and kind people that think this way. That believe that Donald Trump is the real president, and is a genius visionary, that QAnon is real, and that JFK Jr. is really alive.

I can’t say why I want to experience this but I do.

Norman is real and as whacky as his thinking seems to be, many people think as he does.

I don’t even know further what to say. When I read Norms e-mails I feel like someone is trying to drag me into some dark insane Twilight Zone

It seems that if Norman or any of those like him had been taught critical thinking, deductive reasoning, fact-checking, and rationality they would not see the world as they do. What they needed was good mentoring and coaching. Instead, they got Alex Jones and those like him.

Even though I have little doubt that these well-meaning folks are walking down the path to their own destruction, and may be taking us with them, I still have the need to listen to what they have to say…

It’s the human thing to do.

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Author: Lewis is a storyteller, world traveler, writer, teacher, and master results-oriented life coach. He is the author of over twenty books, numerous self-improvement, and personal development courses, and is the former host of a talk show on NPR Affiliated WIOX91.3 FM. If you are looking for a coach or mentor, Lewis is waiting for you. He can be contacted at LewisCoaches@gmail.com

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