The Best Gratitude for the Holiday
Welcome to Thanksgiving Thursday
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A 5-Minute Read
Today is Thanksgiving in the USA. This is a day built on myth, false history, family traditions, and the official opening to Christmas, which is just a month away. It is also a reminder that we need to have gratitude
In my childhood Thanksgiving repeated happy routine. My mother prepared a family Turkey (or occasionally Duck) dinner. We watched the big Macy’s Parade, and my own person ritual was to watch the movie March of the Wooden Soldiers with Laurel and Hardy again.
Here is the trailer for that 1934 film.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=657780125535394
What Does Thanksgiving mean to me Now?
After a life of spiritual exploration I know, that at least for me, Thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims, abused Indians, Turkey, Cranberry sauce, or Parades. It’s about gratitude.
The most commonly asked questions concerning gratitude on Google are:
What are the 3 parts of gratitude?
What gratitude really means?
What is gratitude Wikipedia?
What's the origin of gratitude?
In my childhood Thanksgiving was the repetition of a happy routine. My mother prepared a family Turkey (or occasionally Duck) dinner. We watched the big Macy’s Parade, and my own person ritual was to watch the movie March of the Wooden Soldiers with Laurel and Hardy again.
Here is the trailer for that 1934 film.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=657780125535394
What Does Thanksgiving mean to me Now?
After a life of spiritual exploration I know, that at least for me, Thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims, abused Indians, Turkey, Cranberry sauce, or Parades. It’s about gratitude.
The most commonly asked questions concerning gratitude on Google are:
What are the 3 parts of gratitude?
What gratitude really means?
What is gratitude Wikipedia?
What's the origin of gratitude?
Gratitude, thankfulness, or gratefulness is from the Latin word gratus, which means "pleasing" or "thankful." Is regarded as a feeling of appreciation (or similar positive response) by a recipient of another's kindness. This can be gifts, help, favors, or another form of generosity to another person. The absence of gratitude where gratitude is expected is called ingratitude or ungratefulness. Historically, gratitude has been a part of several world religions. It also has been a topic of interest to ancient, medieval, and modern philosophers.
So, what are the 3 parts or steps of gratitude?
Recognition: The first step is recognizing that you are going to be okay. ...
Acknowledgement: The second stage of gratitude is acknowledgment. ...
Appreciation: The third stage of gratitude recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.
Over the last few decades the exploration of gratitude has been of major interest in the field of Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology is the scientific study of human flourishing, joy, happiness, and meaningfulness. It is also an applied approach to optimal functioning. As a life and transformational coach I use it to help my clients study their strengths and virtues. In the end this enables individuals, communities, and organizations to thrive.
The systematic study of gratitude within the field of psychology began in 1998 when Martin Seligman, introduced a new branch of psychology that he termed positive psychology. This new branch added a new focus on the reinforcement of positive traits.
The study of gratitude in psychology has included an attempt to understand the short term experience of the gratitude response (state gratitude), individual differences in how frequently gratitude is felt among individuals (trait gratitude), and the relationship between these two. The therapeutic benefits of gratitude have also been taken into consideration.
Comparison with Indebtedness
Gratitude and indebtedness are not the same. While both emotions may occur in response to help or favors, indebtedness occurs when we perceive that we are under an obligation to provide repayment, compensation, or reciprocity for the aid.
These emotions lead to different actions. For instance indebtedness may motivate us to avoid the person who helped us, whereas gratitude may motivate us to seek out our benefactor and to improve their relationship with them.
An example can be seen in a study undertaken to observe the feelings of migrant adolescents towards their parents. In the study, it was noted that "gratitude serves and indebtedness challenges intergenerational relations after migration". In this study it was also noted that, "when the expectations of return from the benefactor increase, indebtedness of the beneficiary increases but gratitude decreases".
Spiritual Perspective Concerning Gratitude
The link between spirituality and gratitude has recently become a popular subject of study. While these two characteristics are certainly not dependent on each other, with some introspection it soon becomes clear that spirituality is capable of enhancing our ability to be grateful. Therefore, those who regularly attend religious services, meditate, serve others, or practice what we in the Essential Zen Community call the 7 Pillars are more likely to have a greater sense of gratitude in all areas of life.
The 7 Pillars are:
1. Meditation, contemplation
2. Introspection
3. Exploring your cognitive biases*, and logical fallacies*
4. Doing what needs to be done
5. Living through love while serving other
6. PEEPPASA Thinking (a focus on being ever more practical, effective, efficient, precise, productive, accurate in intention, and self-aware.
7. Singing, dancing, laughing communicating clearly, and being silent.
No matter what your spiritual journey or path might be, even if it is tied to some formal religion, gratitude is viewed as a prized human propensity. This is so in the Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Baháʼí, and Hindu traditions.
Worship with gratitude to God, or similar religious figure, is a common theme in such religions and the concept of gratitude permeates religious texts, teachings, and traditions. For this reason, it is one of the most common emotions that religions as well as nondenominational teaching aim to evoke and maintain in followers and is regarded as a universal religious and spiritual sentiment.
Exploring my own roots in Ashkenazic Judaism. I have learned that here, and in most Jewish traditions, gratitude is an essential part of the act of worship and a part of every aspect of a worshipper's life. According to the Hebrew worldview, all things come from God and, because of this, gratitude is extremely important to the followers of Judaism. The Hebrew Scriptures are filled with the idea of gratitude. Two examples included in the psalms are "O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever", and "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart" (Ps. 30:12; Ps. 9:1). Jewish prayers also often incorporate gratitude, beginning with the Shema, where the worshipper states that out of gratitude, "You shall love the Eternal, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might" (Deut. 6:5). One of the crucial blessings in the central thrice-daily prayer, the Amidah, is called Modim – "We give thanks to You"; this is also the only blessing that is recited by the congregation together with the leader during their repetition of the Amidah. The concluding prayer, the Alenu, also speaks of gratitude by thanking God for the particular destiny of the Jewish people. Along with these prayers, faithful worshippers recite more than one hundred blessings, called berachot, throughout the day. In Judaism there is also a major emphasis on gratitude for acts of human kindness and goodness.
Christian Conceptions
New Orleans: Thank you message in the grotto of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church; added by those for whom prayer or miracles were granted
Gratitude has been said to mold and shape the entire Christian life. Martin Luther referred to gratitude as "the basic Christian attitude" and today it is still referred to as "the heart of the gospel". Christians are strongly encouraged to praise and give gratitude to their creator. In Christian gratitude, God is seen as the selfless giver of all good things and, because of this, there is a deep sense of gratefulness that enables Christians to share a common bond, shaping all aspects of a follower's life. Gratitude in Christianity is an acknowledgement of God's generosity that inspires Christians to shape their own thoughts and actions around such ideals. Instead of simply a sentimental feeling, Christian gratitude is regarded as a virtue that shapes not only emotions and thoughts, but also actions and deeds. Jonathan Edwards writes in his book A Treatise Concerning Religious Affections that gratitude and thankfulness toward God are among the signs of true religion. Because of this interpretation, modern measures of religious spirituality include assessments of thankfulness and gratitude towards God. Other theologians have suggested that mature religious intentions come from feelings of profound gratitude.
Finally, in the Orthodox, Catholic, Lutheran, and Anglican churches, the most important rite is called the Eucharist; the name derives from the Greek word Eucharistic, meaning thanksgiving.
Islamic Conceptions
I have been a student of the great mystic Sufi teacher, Rumi, and the Muslin Poet Kabir. Most of their wonderful poems speak of love, gratitude, and surrender.
The Islamic sacred text, the Holy Quran, is filled with the idea of gratitude. Islam encourages its followers to be grateful and express thanks to Allah in all circumstances. Islamic teaching emphasizes the idea that those who are grateful will be rewarded with more. A traditional Islamic saying states that "The first who will be summoned to paradise are those who have praised God in every circumstance." In the Quran it is also stated in Sura 14 that those who are grateful will be given more by Allah. Many practices of the Islamic faith also encourage gratitude. For example, the Pillar of Islam calling for daily prayer encourages believers to pray to Allah five times a day in order to thank him for his goodness, and the pillar of fasting during the month of Ramadan is for the purpose of putting the believer in a state of gratitude.
Happiness, Gratitude, and the Meaningful Life
Gratitude is foundational to well-being and mental health. Evidence has shown that there are psychological and physical benefits associated with gratitude. It has been shown to contribute to not only positive affect and other life outcomes, but also to a decrease in negative affect. A large body of work in the early 21st century has suggested that people who are more grateful have:
greater happiness, less depression, less stress, and are more satisfied with their lives,
higher levels of subjective well-being,
a productive, loving , and intimate social relationships. This is likely, because a person's gratitude can protect the relationship satisfaction of their partner.[
greater joyful in the long term,
higher levels of control over their environments,
a greater commitment to personal growth, purpose in life, self-acceptance, and positive ways of coping with the difficulties they experience in life.
a greater likelihood to support and seek support from other people,
a greater likelihood to reinterpret and grow from both positive and negative experiences,
greater skills and are willing to spend more time at planning how to deal with problems.
fewer negative coping strategies,
are less likely to try to avoid problems, deny there is a problem, blame themselves, or cope through substance use,
better sleep patterns because they think more positive thoughts just before going to sleep,
Overall, numerous studies suggest that grateful people are more likely to have higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and depression.
In terms of depression, which I have written a comprehensive text on, gratitude may serve as a buffer by enhancing the coding and retrievability of positive experiences.
Gratitude as a Therapy in Mental Health Awareness
Although many emotions and personality traits are important to the well-being and mental health, there is evidence that gratitude may be uniquely important. First, a longitudinal study showed that people who were more grateful coped better with a life transition. Specifically, people who were more grateful before the transition were less stressed, less depressed, and more satisfied with their relationships three months later.
Various studies have indicated that gratitude may have a unique relationship with well-being and can explain aspects of well-being that other personality traits cannot.
Gratitude as Part of Your Wellness and Fitness Training Routine
Gratitude has also been shown to foster physical health. For example, in one study, if teens wrote letters of gratitude to other people over a month, they were more inclined to eat healthier food. Arguably, when people feel grateful, they feel an obligation to reciprocate the efforts of other individuals. Therefore, rather than indulge and sacrifice their own health—a behavior that would dismiss the efforts that other individuals invested in them—they may feel compelled to live a healthier life. Also, gratitude tends to elicit positive emotions, and these positive emotions tend to focus attention on favorable possibilities in the future. Individuals become more inclined to engage in behaviors that could benefit this future, such as healthy eating. Likewise, individuals who express gratitude also demonstrate improved overall health by way of greater physical activity, better sleep, fewer health care visits, and better nutrition. In addition, practicing gratitude may be correlated with small improvements in cardiovascular health.
Relationship to Altruism
Gratitude has also been shown to improve a person's altruistic tendencies. Studies have found that gratitude is correlated with economic generosity. In this study, which used an economic game, increased gratitude was shown to directly mediate increased monetary giving. From these results, this study shows that grateful people are more likely to sacrifice individual gains for communal benefit. There are many correlations between gratitude and empathy, generosity, and helpfulness towards the creation of social reciprocity even with strangers that is beneficial to the individuals in the short and in the middle terms. This is important to keep in mind if you are a prepper or survivalist, waiting for the SHTF. Better to love and help thy neighbor than going it alone.
As a Motivator of Behavior
Gratitude may also serve to reinforce future prosocial behavior in benefactors. For example, one experiment found that customers of a jewelry store who were called and thanked showed a subsequent 70% increase in purchases. In comparison, customers who were called and told about a sale showed only a 30% increase in purchases, while customers who were not called at all showed no increase in purchases. Here, the gratitude expressed by thanking the customer resulted in a significant increase in sales for the store. In another study, a restaurant's regular patrons gave bigger tips when servers wrote "Thank you" on their checks. In both cases, even simple expressions of gratitude led the benefactors to react favorably. The evidence of gratitude increasing prosocial behaviors is highly supported as it plays a very central role in guiding how good social behavior should be practiced. This is because it teaches people to accept losses that are short term so that they can receive long term rewards which in turn teaches them better skills to life and social living.
Mental and Emotional Healing
I am a great proponent of journaling - the act of keeping a record of your personal thoughts, feelings, insights, and more. A journal can be written, drawn, typed, danced, or even sung. A gratitude journal is a means of learning to focus on things that make one grateful, which can enhance happiness.
Given that gratitude appears to be a strong determinant of people's well-being, several psychological interventions and exercises have been developed to increase gratitude. Some involve:
thinking about a living person for whom you are grateful,
writing about someone dead or alive for whom you are grateful,
writing a letter to deliver to someone for whom you are grateful.
Current Research and Studies Concerning Gratitude
In a number of studies it has been shown that those who engaged in some gratitude exercise have shown increases in their experiences of positive emotion immediately after the exercise, and this effect was strongest for those who were asked to think about a person for whom they are grateful.
Participants who had grateful personalities to begin with showed the greatest benefit from these gratitude exercises. In another study concerning gratitude, participants were randomly assigned to one of six therapeutic intervention conditions designed to improve the participants' overall quality of life. Out of these conditions, it was found that the biggest short-term effects came from a "gratitude visit" where participants wrote and delivered a letter of gratitude to someone in their life. This condition showed a rise in happiness scores by 10 percent and a significant fall in depression scores, results that lasted up to one month after the visit. Out of the six conditions, the longest-lasting effects were associated with the act of writing "gratitude journals" where participants were asked to write down three things they were grateful for every day. These participants' happiness scores also increased and continued to increase each time they were tested periodically after the experiment. In fact, the greatest benefits were usually found to occur around six months after treatment began. This exercise was so successful that although participants were only asked to continue the journal for a week, many participants continued to keep the journal long after the study was over. Similar results have been found from any other studies.
Relationship to Mental Health
A study of approximately 300 college students was conducted to determine the benefits of mental health counseling. Recruited participants were divided into three groups prior to their first counseling session. The first group was instructed to write one letter of gratitude a week for three weeks, the second group was asked to write about their negative experiences, and the third group received only counseling. When compared, the first group reported better mental health after completing their writing exercises. This finding suggests that gratitude writing may improve mental health. Although not conclusive, the study suggests that practicing gratitude may help the brain react more sensitively to the experience of gratitude in the future, and therefore, may improve mental health.
Final Thoughts
According to Cicero, the great Roman statesman, lawyer, scholar, philosopher, and academic skeptic, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others." Multiple studies have shown the correlation between gratitude and increased well-being not only for the individual but for all people involved. The positive psychology movement has embraced these studies and, in an effort to increase overall well-being, has begun to make an effort to incorporate exercises to increase gratitude into the movement.
Although in the past, gratitude has been neglected by psychology, it has always been an important part of the spiritual path as explored by the great teachers and thought leaders.
In recent years much progress has been made in getting the mental health professions to study gratitude and its positive effects on the body, mind, emotions, and spirit.
Gratitude, thankfulness, or gratefulness is from the Latin word gratus, which means "pleasing" or "thankful." Is regarded as a feeling of appreciation (or similar positive response) by a recipient of another's kindness. This can be gifts, help, favors, or another form of generosity to another person. The absence of gratitude where gratitude is expected is called ingratitude or ungratefulness. Historically, gratitude has been a part of several world religions. It also has been a topic of interest to ancient, medieval, and modern philosophers.
Have a sense of gratitude and allow room for grace to enter. Remember, life is not a dress rehearsal
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Author: Hey there. My name is Lewis Harrison, and I created this newsletter. I am a transformational coach, teacher, and prepper. I am a proponent of entrepreneurism and also a writer and seminar leader. The author of over twenty books, and numerous self-improvement, business success, and personal development courses, I am the former host of a talk show on NPR Affiliated WIOX91.3 FM.
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The article is an excerpt from a seminar I taught based on my book “Spiritual, Not Religious”
https://www.amazon.ca/Spiritual-Not-Religious-Sacred-Modern-ebook/dp/B00I9H41C4